Games
by zana16
Summary: Set before the S1 finale. My view on the reasons for the heroin being on the island and Charlie's addiction to that drug even though he 'kicked off' some weeks before. One shot. Please R&R... FINISHED


**Games  
**

He needed Jack. Narrowing his eyes because of the blinding sun, Charlie scanned the beach. There were people there alright, but Jack wasn't among them. His gaze shifting towards the jungle he thought he caught a glimpse of what seemed the doctor of the island. Charlie ran in that direction, but the man was already gone. Walked into the jungle. Charlie ran into the jungle as well, following the movement in front of him.

"Jack. Hey Jack wait up. I need to ask you something." The movement stopped and Charlie walked further. Surprised when he did not only see Jack standing there, but Kate also. "Ow just looking for you", he said in Jack's direction.

"Sorry I need to borrow him for two seconds", he said to Kate as he took Jack apart. When they were far enough in his idea he whispered "I er need something for my head ache. It's kind of urgent". Hoping Jack would get the hint. He knew the only person near was Kate, but he just didn't want to go tell around he was a former heroin addict, forced to kick off by the crash on the island.

Gladly Jack understood him perfectly and shoved him a bottle of pills in his hands.. Thankfully accepting it Charlie muffled the pills into his pocket. No need for anyone else to see what strong medicine he was carrying. Preventing the questions was one of Charlie's highest priorities nowadays. "Thanks Jack", he said as he crossed his arms. Waiting for the other to continue what he was doing before Charlie interrupted.

He leant with his back against the nearest tree and watched Kate and Jack walking further into the direction of the caves. Standing there he waited until he couldn't see any movement of the two in front of him. No more rustlings leafs, no more voices reaching Charlie's ears.

When they were far enough Charlie let out a sigh. He gave up his act and let himself slid down the tree -until he almost sat on the ground. His elbows resting on his legs he pressed with his hands on his forehead. He did have a terrible headache. It came out of nowhere and it felt like someone had used all his force to hammer a knife through the left side of Charlie's head.

He knew he wouldn't be able to take it much longer. The constant pain and his body would soon start shaking uncontrollable, as if someone else was standing behind the steering-wheel. Which left Charlie standing helpless at the sideline.

Slowly removing his hands from his forehead Charlie narrowed his eyes, trying to keep the light away. He was standing in the jungle, where it was much darker than the beach, still every little beam of light increased his head ache. Sweeping the sweat of his hands at the side of his pants, Charlie felt it had started. Holding one hand in the air he saw he was right. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hold his hand still. Not for one single second.

Sighing deeply he dug one hand in his pocket, taking out the little bottle with medication he just got from Jack. He needed them now. He didn't care for prescriptions. For having to have a steady stomach first, having to swallow the pills with half a glass of water, only being allowed to have one pill every three hours, he didn't care for anything anymore. As long as the pain, the shaking, the confusion, all of it, would end.

The pills rattled, because of Charlie's trembling hands, he even had difficulties with opening the twist cap. He turned and turned, but nothing happened. He did the best he could, but the bottle wouldn't give in. "Bloody children's protection", he finally yelled mad, throwing the bottle a few feet further into the jungle. "O damn", he added, realizing what he had done. He needed those pills.

On his hands and feet he crawled through the bushes, into the direction the pills had disappeared. But he couldn't find them. No matter how hard he searched --well for as far that was possible with his eyes half-closed, his body shaking and the head ache taking over control, he couldn't fin them.

'What now?', he thought helpless. He just couldn't ask Jack for more, what was he supposed to tell him happened to the pills he just received? That he couldn't open it because of the bloody children's protection? It sounded dumb and unbelievable. Plus there was the whole issue _if _Jack even had enough pills left. They had to run out of them at some point. Charlie buried his head in his hands, he had lost the game.

_Flashback - some days ago  
_

_It was still very early in the morning when Charlie woke up, nearly swimming in his own sweat. It was hot, but it wasn't that hot. The temperature was actually pretty bearable at this time of the day. But it wasn't because of that that Charlie was all sweaty. He felt sick, had fever, and all because of the fact he was trying to kick of the drug he had been addicted to for too long. _

Well kicking off, it wasn't actually hard to stay of the drugs, since he was out of them. Without any temptation near there was nothing else Charlie could do but stay of the drugs. Whether he wanted to or not. And right now he didn't want to. If he would still have his last stash of heroin he would take it. Without any hesitation. Just to get rid of the sick feeling the ran through every vain of his body. He knew his life changed, and it wasn't only himself he had to think about anymore. There was Claire, and Aaron. But he wouldn't be able to help them much longer in the condition he was in now anyway. If he could only get some drugs, it didn't have to be much. Just enough to feel better again. He knew he would be of more help then.

It was already light outside, Charlie saw when he walked out of the shelter. Of course first making sure both Claire and Aaron were doing okay. He needed some fresh air and stretching himself he walked over the beach, seeing he was one of the few people already awake. No wonder at this time of the day. Yet it was still too crowdie, Charlie wanted to be alone for a change, really alone. So he walked towards the jungle.

The temperature was much colder in the shadows of the high trees. Walking around in the oxygen full jungle Charlie started to relax a bit. He knew this place was full of unknown dangers but this morning it was remarkable quiet around him and he had a feeling no-one and nothing would disturb him here.

_He had not been feeling well for quite some time, but this walk made Charlie actually feel some better and a smile came on his face. He knew he was doing better. There was a progress in his condition. He could do this alright, he felt proud on himself. _

All of a sudden he realized he was in a part of the jungle he had not been before. Charlie got worried. He didn't know how big this jungle was and getting lost wasn't a thing he was waiting for. He needed to find his was back. Fast. He turned around and walked back in what he thought was the direction he came from. But it wasn't. Nothing looked familiar.

When he reached a place that was a little more open Charlie looked up, at the sun, and wished he had Locke's knowledge so he would know where to go to, just by looking at the sun. With a sigh he sat down on the ground. He needed a break. He was warm again and getting tired.

And then he saw it. Around him, mostly hidden in the green, lay a few Maria statues. 'What the...?', he thought as he took one of them from the ground. It was more heavy than expected. Charlie looked once more to the sky, but he couldn't figure out where the statues came from.

Looking back at the statues he saw not all of them were in the great condition as the one in his hands. Some of the statues were broken and something was half hanging out one of them. Something that looked very familiar in Charlie's eyes. But he knew it couldn't be, he must imagine it. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his head of the image. But when he opened them again and looked back to the statue, it still looked an awful lot like... He stood up and ran in the direction, his hands sickenly eager clamping around the broken statue and its contents.

_Heroin. He quickly made a gap in one of the plastic wrappings, he wanted to know if this was for real. If he wasn't dreaming it. His finger avid digging in the brown substance, before heading towards his teeth. He had to try it. _

But right before his hand reached his mouth he realized something. He realized he wasn't depending on the heroin anymore. He did not have to use it if he didn't want to. 'This is not what I want', he thought as he tried to stand up, dropping the statue and its contents. Unsteady on his legs he backed away from it, as if he was watching his biggest fear coming to live. When he found the strength in his legs back again he started to run.

It didn't matter to him where he was going to, as long as it was far away from this temptation.

_End flashback_

The memory faded away and Charlie found himself back on the ground. His hands and knees full of dirt and a bottle of pills somewhere in the bushes. Near him, yet unfindable. He knew there was only one option left to get better... Going back to the place with Maria statues.

* * *

He did not know how long he wandered through the jungle. Every tree, bush or plant seemed the same in Charlie's eyes and he didn't know if he had seen it before. He had no idea where exactly the open place was, hell he didn't even know what direction to go to. Left, right, straight ahead or the complete opposite of them all.

But all of a sudden he stood there. It was pure luck, or maybe someone or something had guided him in the right direction. Charlie did not care, he didn't even think of the fact it might be too much of a coincidence he came across this place twice. All he could think of was his drugs and he ran into the direction where he had dropped the broken Maria statue before. Hopeful looking to the ground he saw nothing but grass and sand. It was gone.

He got on his knees again and started to look desperately around him. Just as he had done with the bottle of pills before. His hands digging through the sand, making a mess of the once wrinkleless sand. But it seemed as if the Maria statues and the heroin had vanished in the air.

_Flashback - two months before the crash of flight 815 (Manchester) _

Charlie woke up with the everlasting feeling he was in need of something that would help him relax. And fast. He was already starting to feel sick again. Sweat falling from his forehead, his bloody head nearly exploding and his temperature rising with the second. He checked his pockets, his shoes, but nothing was there. Which was strange, because he always kept his reserves close to him. Easy to grab when he needed it the most.

Slightly panicking he ran through the room. Lifting up the various items from the table, couch, closet, looking underneath everything for the drugs. Nothing. He dropped himself on the floor and looked under the furniture, his hands digging deep under the closet, but finding nothing than piles of dust. The treasure from underneath the couch existed out of a few pennies. Not what Charlie was hoping for. Frustrated he threw the coins back under the couch, trying to clear his mind of the anxiety that was taking over.

He had to think straight. When was the last time he'd used some? Where had he seen his stock the last? Think. Think, Charlie. He did his best, but for the love of God he couldn't figure it out.

Helpless he crawled towards the nearest wall and sat with his back against it. Pulling up his legs he laid his head on them and wrapped his arms around his knees -making himself as small as possible. Sitting like that he rocked back and forth, trying to think of something else than the drugs, trying to prevent what he knew was going to happen. But it didn't help. His body started to shake until he couldn't control it anymore.

Like that he spend minutes, if not tens of minutes. He got warm and cold at the same time, he couldn't control the movements of his limps and he felt sick. So sick he thought he was dying.

When he finally found the strength to look up again he wouldn't have recognised himself when he had looked into a mirror. His hair sticked on his forehead, his face pale and shined of the sweat. Reddish eyes looked bewildered across the room. Trying to focus so he would know where he was.

With all his force he tried to take back the control over his body. He knew he still had some drugs left. It had to be found. His head told him what he had to do, now his limbs had to co-operate. 'Search, search', was all he could think of. He had to search again. He had to be overlooking something. Slowly his hands moved towards the left pocket of his jeans again. Shaking, but digging as deep as they could. It wasn't there. His right pocket was next. Slowly and uncontrolled he moved his hand into his pocket. It touched the edge of a plastic wrap. Digging deeper he closed his fingers around the little package and took it out. He took it in both his hands and spinned it around in front of his eyes.

It was there. The place he always hid it and the place he had looked first. It was there all along.

End flashback

Charlie opened his eyes, now knowing he had to think straight. He knew the drugs were near. He could almost smell them. Nearly touch them and taste them. 'I have to look better', he kept telling himself.

He blinked a few times, trying to get a clear sight and then he crawled further through the sand. A few feet to his left he suddenly saw a fragment of blue, sparkling in the sun. It was part of one of the statues.

A feeling of relief came over Charlie when he recognised it. He quickly got on his feet and half run, half swayed to the place where the fragment had hid itself. It was surrounded with more parts of the statues and several packages filled with the brown substance Charlie had been so eagerly searching for.

He quickly sat down right there and grabbed a package from the ground. Surrounded with broken statues of the virgin Maria he avid opened one of the wrappings and put his finger in the substance. This time not changing his mind, but pressing it against his teeth to taste it first. It was perfect.

He bend forward as he spread some of the drugs out on his hand. Quickly rearranging it as he had done so often before. He had not unlearned it. It was like riding a bike. Once you learned you never forgot.

When he was happy with the way the small pile lay on his hand he quickly licked of his fingers and lips before he brought his hand closer to his face and he snorted the heroine up his nose. A familiar feeling immediately ran through his body as he leant with his head backwards. He smiled. Again he had won the game his body was playing with him.

But he didn't know it was not him who did this. It was the island, it tested Charlie. And the poor junkie had just failed his final exam.

* * *

_I am not used to writing a story as short as this, but it are a few of my RPG-updates which I thought would suit for making a short story of, so there you go. It's a one shot, hope you like it._


End file.
